Rubbed Raw - Omitted Scene 5 – Belly Tattoo

A week after we got back together, Giovanni and I were at the local Harley shop. He needed a new clutch cable. Every time we stopped there, he had to look at the bikes. His was almost twenty years old, and he dreamed of having a new one. Although, he took such good care of his, you wouldn’t know its age, unless you were a motorcycle connoisseur.

He sat on a few models and grinned like a kid. Then we walked over to the accessories section. “Maybe I should get saddlebags so you don’t have to carry the backpack.” He looked pensive for a minute. “I’d have to test them first to make sure you can still reach the pegs.”

I nodded. “You wanna do that now?”

“Nah, I don’t have the money this week. Mom needed money for a new prescription.” It didn’t seem to faze him that he supported his mother more than most young men had to.

After a bit more browsing, we wound up at the bikes again. He stared at a black Road King for a long time. The price tag was way out of our price range, but it could be doable one day. If the album sold well that is.

Giovanni sat on it and sighed. “I always wanted one of these.”

“Will they let you test drive it?” I hoped I could tag along.

He shrugged. “Maybe, I never asked.” He looked up at me. “You planning on going with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” I studied his face, trying to see through his expressionless face. Sometimes I wished he could express his emotions better. “I rode here with you.”

His eyebrows rose. “This got more power than any bike I ever had. It’s a 1500. Guess I’m nervous you’ll fall.” His eyes portrayed fear.

Then I understood. Losing me had changed him. He was more cautious, yet wanted to hang onto me tighter. “See if they have one with a sissy bar. That way if you hit the throttle too hard, I won’t fall.” I had learned a lot about motorcycles being with him.

A small smile formed on his lips. “So smart, I didn’t think of that.”

We had to wait two hours for an open test drive slot with the bike he chose. Giovanni fidgeted most of the time, unable to stay still. When the time was almost up, he squeezed my hand. “Maybe I can get one of them when the tour’s over.” He smiled. “It’d be a lot easier on your ass on the way to the studio for our next album.”

I smiled. The long drive on his bike did sometimes cause an ache, but I had gotten used to it. Although, when I was bruised, it was torture. “As long as I can still feel the wind, it’ll be cool.”

“Mr. Saracino?” A voice called out.

Both of us looked up. Then Giovanni stood and grabbed our gear, before walking towards the man with a clipboard several feet away. “That’s me.” He tugged me behind him.

“This way,” clipboard guy said.

Once outside, Giovanni let me go and inspected the blue bike that waited for him. It was definitely bigger than his. The seats were much wider, well padded.

“We don’t allow passengers on test rides.” The man looked me up and down.

Giovanni folded his arms over his chest and stood straight, which made him look pretty scary. “She goes. I’m not leaving her here.”

“What do you ride?”

With a look towards the parking lot, Giovanni answered, “A ’97 Sportster, 833.”

“That’s kinda small for a guy your size.” The employee quickly gave Giovanni a once over.

Giovanni glared at him. “I lifted it and modified it a bit. It’s got forward controls too.”

“You ever road anything over 1000?”

Giovanni glanced at me then at the man, “Only in first or second gear. I’m a mechanic.”

“You should drive it in the parking lot before you take her out on it.”

Nodding, Giovanni obviously agreed. He visibly relaxed and donned his helmet and gloves. “Stay in sight, Crystal.” He pulled me close and pressed his lips to mine, “A couple of minutes.”

“I’ll be right here.” I watched his smile widen as he mounted the bike.

He started it up and grinned widely. It was much louder than his. Obviously excited, he revved the engine. Then he put it in gear and rolled in a circle, getting a feel for it. He had told me that every bike was different, just like cars. When he had gone down the length of a long aisle, he accelerated. His face told me he was surprised by how the bike reacted. By the time he came back to us, he looked relatively comfortable with it.

“Get on,” he kept the bike steady waiting for me.

I put my helmet on and looked at him. “Um, I can’t get my leg up that high.” I pointed to the sissy bar. I had never ridden on a bike with one.

Giovanni looked behind him. “Step on the peg then swing your leg over in front of you.” He scooted forward, giving me more room to maneuver.

Grabbing his shoulder, I did just that, almost catching my foot on his jeans. I quickly found the second peg and rested my foot. Then I leaned forward and grabbed Giovanni around the middle.

“You don’t have to hold on so tight.” Giovanni leaned back and let our helmets touch. “If you want, you can sit back.”

I loosened my hold a bit, but was too nervous to do anything more. “I like holding you.”

He patted my hands. “I like it too, feels good to have you against my back.”

I felt the bike go into gear and clutched him tighter. His earlier nervousness was getting to me. When he took off, going slow, I closed my eyes. Then he rubbed my thigh and I relaxed. I hadn’t slid back like he had worried. I looked up just as he slowed to turn onto a main road. Seconds later, he accelerated hard and my body jerked, but then I felt the backrest behind me. I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Sorry,” he shouted.

I gripped him firmer, to ease my own nerves. When he was at a steady speed, I took a deep breath and let my thighs relax. The seat was a lot more comfortable, and I liked have something behind me. The wind around us made me smile. It was the best part about riding, feeling free.

At a red light, I yelled over the loud engine, “You got good taste. I like this one.”

“Cool,” he squeezed my thigh then held my hand for a few seconds, “Me too.”

The bike slowed when the river came into view. I knew we had an hour, but I thought we would be riding the whole time. Without a word, he parked the bike and led me to a large grassy patch with a great view of the water.

“What’re we doing?” I asked as he sat on the floor and tugged me to sit between his legs.

He hugged me, so his chest was against my back. “We can’t talk on the bike.” After taking a deep breath, his body relaxed. “We been so busy lately.”

His hands ran down over my thighs then back up, over my ribs. He was cautious what he touched. There was a family picnicking nearby and people randomly all around us. Slowly his fingers slipped under my top.

I grabbed his hands. “Hey.”

“I wanna show you something.” He lifted my shirt a few inches, exposing only my belly. His lips brushed over my ear. “I got a nice idea for a tattoo.” He made a circle with one of his fingers around my belly button, “A bunch of small butterflies all around here.”

Confused, I leaned my head back and looked up at him. “Why butterflies?” I did like them an awful lot, but none of my tattoos were that girlie.

“They’re a symbol of new life.” His whole body tensed for a few seconds. “Don’t freak out.” He held me closer and whispered, “When we have a baby, they’ll get bigger as you do.”

I fought the urge to argue, while my hands balled into fists. “Baby?” No way was I ready yet and he knew it. Why does he keep pushing for it? “Now?” I squeaked, unable to control the tone of my voice.

“I didn’t mean we start trying.” He sighed. “I want you to have the tattoo before we do. Please?” He rubbed my belly. “I can’t wait till you’re carrying my kid, but I won’t push, promise.”

Closing my eyes, I reigned in my anxiety, taking deep breaths. His fingers continued to caress my skin, slowly. I stayed quiet and felt him tense again. That meant he was getting worried. His hands moved to my shoulders and gently massaged them.

“You OK?” His voice was barely a whisper. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out again.”

I turned my head and listened to his heart beat quickly for a few moments. “I don’t know when I’ll be ready.” My voice wasn’t steady and my hands shook.

“That’s fine.” He smoothed my hair, trying not to snag my ponytail. “I can wait...” He exhaled in my hair and kissed the top of my head. “…until you are.” He paused a few seconds. “I love you.”

I turned and hugged him. “Love you too.”

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head again. “Just think about it, OK?” When I nodded, he squeezed me. “It’d look beautiful.” We said nothing for a few minutes more. Then he tapped my thigh. “We gotta get back.”

I gave him a half smile and got to my feet. “It does sound like a nice idea,” I admitted.

Giovanni gave me a questioning look. “What does?”

“The tattoo.”

He stood and put his hands on my shoulders. “So, you’ll do it?

“Yeah.”

He threw a fist in the hair. “Yes!” Excitedly, he went on, “Will you do it today? This way you can’t change your mind.”

I shook my head. “You’re gonna be relentless if I don’t, right?”

“Yep.” He grinned from ear to ear. “All day and all night till you do it.”

Sighing, I feigned defeat. “Well fine then.” I looked up at him and smiled. “I hope it turns out sexy.”

He pulled me close and put his hands around my waist. Then he leaned down and whispered, “All your tattoos’re sexy.” His fingers caressed my lower back, “Especially this one.” He exhaled on my neck. “First time I saw this, I imagined you bent over Chad’s kitchen table. My dick was so hard, I swore you were gonna notice. Then Rosario had to piss me off, again.”

“You forgot about him pretty quick.” The night floated through my mind, him in a towel, dancing, his body against mine, fantasizing, waking up in his arms. “We had a great time that night.”

He groaned against my neck. “Yeah. That was the first time I held you all night. I have no idea how I controlled my dick.” His lips brushed my skin. “God, you felt so fucking good.”

“Better than our first time?” I was slightly insulted.

He held my face in his hands and tilted my head up. After placing a passion filled kiss on my lips, he held my gaze. “No.” His eyes seemed far away for a few seconds then his focus returned. “That was so incredible; I don’t have words to describe it. I felt it in my entire body… and when I came… I thought my balls were literally exploding.” He gently rubbed my nose with his. “It’s ‘cause I love you.”

I nodded, knowing that was why it was the same for me. “I thought we had to get back.”

“Yeah, we do.” Giovanni gave me a quick kiss on the lips and tugged me back to the bike.

After returning the Road King, Giovanni took me to Manny’s tattoo shop. The place was bigger than I expected. Julian, the guy Chad used, worked out of a small storefront downtown. Manny’s had couches and chairs in a large waiting area. The walls were covered in tattoo designs and related artwork. Heavy metal music was piped into the dimly lit room as well.

We sat on a couch, Giovanni’s arm around me. “You haven’t gotten a tattoo in a while. Think you’ll be OK?”

“Um…” I hadn’t even thought about it. “I guess.” As we waited, anxiety started to creep up. “Do any girls work here?”

He put his other arm around me. “I don’t think so.” He kissed my hair. “Did you change your mind?”

Before I could reply, I heard footsteps. A man with a bandage on his arm walked out of the store and another man appeared. “Hey, Giovanni. What’s up? Finally doing the other leg?”

Giovanni patted my kne and stood. “Nah, Manny. Don’t know what to put there yet. This time my girl Crystal’s getting a piece done.” He walked towards the counter.

“Hmmm, girl? That’s a first.” Manny was a very tall and all around large man. He had a dark crew cut and a full graying beard. The glare Giovanni gave him caused his eyebrows to go up. “What? You never brought a chick here before.” Giovanni must have given him another look, because he grinned and said, “Oh, that chick. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

I got to my feet and slowly joined them, but stayed quiet.

“I’m gonna need you to draw something out for me.” Giovanni draped an am over my shoulders. He used his other hand to lift my top a little. “A set of butterflies around her belly button.”

Manny cocked his head. “Interesting…” His lip curled up. “So is it somethin’ like the dragon on your back.” He looked up at me. “Are you in recov-“

“Shut the fuck up,” Giovanni suddenly blurted out.

Both Manny and I stared at him. “Dude, what the fuck?”

I ran a hand down Giovanni’s tense arm. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” he eyed Manny. “Forget it, please.”

With a sigh, Manny put his hands on the counter in front of him. “She don’t know.” He waited for an answer but didn’t get one. “Giovanni, man, it’s gonna come out.”

Giovanni glared at him again. “Not now.”

I watched the two men dare the other to say a word. For a few minutes, I went over the conversation that just occurred. Was Manny about to say “recover” or “recovery?” No other words came to mind. Giovanni obviously was not ready for me to know. I couldn’t help but try to think of reasons for him to have to recover from something. Had he been sick once? What would a dragon have to do with that?

“What’s he talking about?” My eyes opened wide as I waited. When he didn’t respond, my voice rose. “What happened to you?”

His body was tense and his breathing was quick. He obviously didn’t want me to know. “I’m sorry,” Giovanni softly said in my ear. “I just can’t. Not yet.”

He said that a lot when it came to feelings or his past. Sometimes I wished he could express himself like Chad did. I always had to drag things out of him. If I pushed him, he would just clam up and possibly even get angry. I decided to let it go, for both our sakes.

“Sorry.” Manny seemed truly remorseful. “I didn’t mean to start a fight.”

I took a deep breath. “You didn’t. It’s fine. He doesn’t like to talk about some things.” I clutched Giovanni’s hand nervously, when Manny’s eyes met mine. “Can you fit me in?”

“Yep, don’t have an appointment for an hour.” He waved his hand. “Come on back and we’ll get started.”

Giovanni started to relax as we strolled down the hallway. He didn’t let go of my hand, and I was glad. Me on the other hand, my anxiety was building. The last time I had a tattoo done; Chad and I went to Julian, who I knew well. I had my blouse off, yet I felt comfortable. That was before my attack though.

Once in a room, I stood as close to Giovanni as possible. I squeezed his fingers, trying to relax. He lifted my hand and kissed my fingers.

“It’s OK,” he murmured.

Manny got out a pencil and some paper. “So are you particular about breeds or colors?”

I looked at my feet. “Not really.”

“I’d say Monarchs’d be nice.” Giovanni lifted my chin, “Red, blue and black?” When I nodded, he smiled. “Simple’s better for this one I think.”

We watched Manny sketch. He was real good. It didn’t take him long to have eight one-inch butterflies in a circle outlined on the paper. Minutes later, Giovanni led me to the reclining chair.

“How’s this?” Manny held up the finished drawing.

Giovanni grinned widely. “Perfect.”

“Take off your shirt…” Manny got up and started getting things ready. “…and lay back on chair.”

I took it off, wishing I had worn a less revealing bra. After placing it on a nearby table, I covered my chest with my arms feeling more exposed than I was. Giovanni stood in front of me and smiled. Then Manny touched my lower back and I jumped.

“I’m just admiring the piece you got down here.”  Manny wolf whistled. “It’s hot.”

Cringing from his touch, I stepped towards Giovanni.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“She’s afraid of people touching her,” Giovanni explained. “Just have a little patience, please.” We stood there for a minute, while I calmed.

I lay back on the chair with Giovanni’s help. However, when he let go, the thought of Manny’s hands on me was suddenly terrifying. Keeping my arms up, I started to shake. My hands clenched into fists and I couldn’t move.

Looking at Giovanni with pleading eyes and clenched teeth, I whined, “I can’t do this.”

“It’s okay.” He stood over me and tugged me until I was in his arms. “I’m right here. Manny’s professional.” His fingers ran through my hair while I clutched the back of his shirt. “Take a deep breath.” He leaned his cheek against mine. “If you’re scared we can go.”

“She OK?” Manny asked from close by.

Giovanni’s head moved then his lips touched my ear. “We can do this another day.”

Knowing I had a choice made me feel much better. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. Then I cleared my mind. “I can do this.” I said it to myself several times, as I stayed still.

“You sure?”

I nodded and met his eyes. “Yeah.”

“Are we doing this?” Manny rolled a table next to me. He pulled a chair next to mine. “I’ll be careful where I touch, OK?”

I lay back again. “We are.”

Giovanni picked up my hand. “I’m right here.”

I closed my eyes and thought about what the tattoo would look like if I were pregnant. That calmed me a bit more. It was a really cool idea. “Just don’t let go.” I squeezed his hand and loosened my muscles.

“You need to open your jeans.” Manny’s voice was soft.

Giovanni did it for me with one hand. Then he kissed my lips. “Thanks for doing this. I can’t wait till it grows with you.” I could hear the smile in his tone.

Manny touched my abdomen and I jumped again. He waited a few seconds then paper was on my skin. “Maybe you should open your eyes so you know when I’m gonna touch you.”

I laughed, which broke down my nerves a bit more. “If I watch, I’ll pass out.”

Giovanni kissed my forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me you were afraid of needles?”

“I’m not exactly afraid,” I admitted. “They just make me queasy.”

He brushed a few hairs out of my face. “Then keep ‘em closed.”

Minutes later, I winced and grit my teeth. I slowly reached up and Giovanni held both of my hands. Instead of squirming like I wanted to, I gripped his hands tighter. It wasn’t quite as bad the one on my lower back, but hurt none the less. Thankfully, by the time he was coloring in the butterflies, my belly was numb.

“So, you like?”

I cautiously opened my eyes. Manny was cleaning up. I glanced down my body. From what I could see, he did a really nice job. The colors were bright and the lines were perfect.

“Damn, that really turns me on.” Giovanni caressed the skin just above the tattoo.

I grinned slyly. “The wind could turn you on lately.”

“True.” He leaned down. “But, now I got something to look at whether you’re on your back or your stomach.” His voice got deeper. “When we get home, you are so in trouble.”

Manny came back to me and rubbed ointment on my belly, while I fought the urge to hop off the chair. “Keep the bandage on for an hour.” He covered my new ink with a large gauze pad. “Get dressed and I’ll give you some paperwork.”

When we got home, I carefully took off the bandage and took a shower. My belly was sore, but it was most definitely worth it. When I had looked in the mirror, I was shocked at how detailed the butterflies were.

Giovanni waited for me in the bedroom. He waved his hand at the bed when I entered the room. “Lay down so I can put this on.”

He had a tube of ointment in his hand. It was something we always had on hand. I complied and tossed the towel aside. He just gave me a lustful look.

“Scoot down here so it’s easier.” He watched me slide towards him, licking his lips. “God, that looks even better than I expected.” When my ass hit the edge, he grabbed my knees and spread them wide. “Close your eyes.”

I did and was surprised to hear him walk away. Then I realized he didn’t have a washcloth or anything to clean his hands after. When I heard footsteps, I called out. “Can I put my legs down?”

“Not yet.” A hand ran down each of my thighs, “So fucking hot.” He dragged his tongue over my hip then down.

I moaned as he caressed my folds slowly. “What happened to taking care of me?”

“This ain’t taking care of you?” He went right back to using his tongue to make me crazy.

My hips lifted when he teased my clit, trying to make him suck on it. As usual, he didn’t let me control things. He pushed my hips down and held my legs wide open. His tongue tentatively stroked me, with teasing glimpses of pleasure.

I squirmed. “Please.”

He chuckled and pressed the tip of his tongue to my entrance. Again, he moved before giving me what I wanted. “You need to learn patience.”

“No. You need to learn to stop teasing.”

He laughed again. “Don’t like teasing? Fine.”

Suddenly he filled my pussy with his long, thick erection. “Oh God!” My hips involuntarily ground into his, while my entire body vibrated with pleasure. He gave me another quick stroke and I cried out, “Giovanni, fucking God!”

“I guess you like this better.” He grunted as he slammed his hips into mine again, still holding my legs open, eyes fixed on my new ink. “That tattoo’s better than all the other ones.” He leaned down slightly, careful not to touch the sensitive skin. “’Cause you got it for me.”

My back arched and I gripped the blanket beneath me. “So glad I got it. Fuck!” His rhythm became fast and steady. Shocked by how he ravaged my body, my eyes rolled back. “How’re you doing this?” His cock was hitting my sweet spot over and over again. It was overwhelming. I cried out yet again, just as he went faster.

“So good, damn,” Giovanni groaned loudly. “God, I’m gonna cum already.” He growled and dug his fingers into my thighs, while he looked up. “Fuck!” His hips stilled.

My insides were still quivering as his cock throbbed within me. I didn’t move until he pulled out. “Guess you like the tattoo.”

“Just a bit,” he winked at me. “I’ll be right back.” Within seconds, he was back, pants closed and a washcloth in his hand. “Tell me if I hurt you.”

I cringed at the first sweep of his fingers, but it didn’t hurt like I expected. It was just sore. He was rarely gentle with me, but his touch was almost feather-like. My entire body relaxed.

“Chad’s gonna love this,” Giovanni said barely above a whisper.

My eyes flipped open in surprise. He rarely talked about Chad since he heard the song Chad wrote about me. His smile told me he wasn’t the least bit jealous.

“What?” He gave me a puzzled look.

I quickly changed my expression, “Nothing.” It was best left alone. After he had carefully covered my belly with plastic wrap, I got to my feet. “It might have been a good idea to wash up before you did that.” I was sure I smelled of sex.

“Why?” His arms wrapped around me from behind. “I used a condom. You should be fine.” He just didn’t understand.

I sighed and leaned back on him. “I’ll be careful.” I pulled away and started for the doorway.

“Wait.” He gently yanked me back and pressed his hips to my ass. His cock was growing again. “I just keep seeing it in my head. You’ll even more beautiful with a huge belly with my baby in it. Why does that turn me on?” He let out a low growl. “Maybe I’m just crazy.”

I couldn’t imagine having a child at twenty-three, but stayed silent. He was too excited by the idea. Bursting his bubble at that moment felt wrong.

“Love you,” he whispered. “I better stop.” He let me go. “We gotta leave soon.” After a kiss on my lips, he caressed my cheek. “Thanks again for getting the tattoo, my love.”

I smiled. “I’d do anything for you.” After washing up best I could, I started to get dressed.

When Giovanni walked into the extra bedroom, his eyes opened wide. “If you keep dressing like that every night, we are never gonna be on time.”

“I’m not even dressed yet.”

“I know.” He came closer and gazed at the red bra and panty set I wore, practically drooling. “I’ve never seen this one before.” Then he picked me up and tossed me on the bed.

“We don’t have time for this, Giovanni. We’re late,” I warned him as I tried to get off the bed.

He quickly stood over me and pressed his lips to mine. “We’ll make time.” He pushed me back down and straddled my hips. “Come on. You look so hot.”

“I just cleaned up, please.” I pled with my eyes.

With a loud exhale, he climbed off the bed. “Fine, but when we get home, I’m fucking you in that set." He left me and seconds later, I heard the bathroom door close.

When I was dressed, I fiddled with my tank top, trying to keep the plastic underneath. It was there so my clothes weren’t stained. I quickly gave up and changed into a longer top. It was red, with spaghetti straps and a low neckline. It went well with the black ruffled skirt around my hips.

“Hot damn!” Giovanni came out of the bedroom, smiling while tying his hair back. “I like that shirt.” He crossed the living room to me. “Why’re you torturing me?” He put his hands on my shoulders. “Maybe they’ll have a back room.” He winked just before gritting his teeth.

An hour later, I threw my guitar strap over my head. Then I almost cried when my bass smacked my belly. I had forgotten about the tattoo. Quickly I turned to the wall and hid the pain.

“Here.” Mark handed me my cable.

I plugged in my guitar. Chad saying we needed to switch to wireless came to mind. He was right, but it was a costly investment. We had to save up for it. Between rent and necessities, there wasn’t much left out of what we made as a band. If Chad and Giovanni weren’t working, there probably wouldn’t be anything at all. Chad had offered to pay for it, but everyone else refused. It had to be a group effort, just like all the band’s purchases.

We soon started “Trapped in the Middle.” It had become popular. The audience loved that Chris moved all over the stage as he sang it. Sometimes I wondered if he was inside my head with the way he sang it. He expressed all the emotions I felt as I wrote it.

As soon as it was over, I accidentally brushed my tattoo with my bass again. My eyes closed and my hands balled in to fists.

“Hey, you OK?” Chad lightly touched my arm. I took a deep breath and tilted my head so I could see him. He looked down at me with concern. “Looks like you’re in pain.”

I smiled, wide. “I’m OK. No big deal.”

“He didn’t…” His voice trailed off while he pursed his lips. “Sorry. I know I promised.” He sighed, obviously hating butting out of my sex life. “It’s not that though, right?”

Shaking my head, I held his forearm. “I swear it’s something else, nothing to worry about.”

Several more songs later, Chad walked with me towards the back room. “What’s wrong, baby?” He stopped and made me look at him. “You can tell me. I promise not to get mad.”

“I’m fine, really.” I suddenly grabbed Chad, feeling woozy. Pain sometimes made me dizzy and I was feeling seriously sore.

“Baby, you gotta lie down.” He held me up as best as he could without hugging me. “You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

Giovanni was coming towards us with a bass drum. “What happened?”

“I’m fine,” I insisted.

Chad scowled at me. “She’s exhausted or something. I’m gonna walk her to your van.”

“Sure,” Giovanni gave us a forced smile, showing me it was killing him to let Chad care for me.

While everyone else loaded the vans, Chad helped me onto the front seat in Giovanni’s. He quickly kissed my cheek and sat on the van floor, urging me to lie down. Once I was on my back, he rested his hand over my belly and I left out a soft cry.

“How’d I hurt you?” He lifted my top and stared at my belly. “Wow, this’s beautiful.” He smiled at me and a finger grazed my skin around the tattoo. “That’s why you’re in pain.”

I smiled back at him. “Yeah.”

“You like it huh?” Giovanni came into view.

Chad turned to him. “It’s perfect for her.”

“When we have a baby, the butterflies grow with her belly,” Giovanni explained.

Immediately, Chad looked at me with his mouth open and heartbreak in his eyes. He knew that meant I was thinking of a future with Giovanni. He gently caressed my belly.

As soon as Giovanni was gone, Chad got to his knees and pulled me into his arms. Tears falling on my neck, he whispered, “I wanted to have kids with you. I love you so much, my baby girl.”

“I’m sorry.” I started to cry also, his pain overwhelming me like it so often did.

Chad clutched me until his tears stopped. Then he looked at me. “I don’t know how to live without you.”

“You won’t have to, I swear.”

He eased my body back until I was lying down again. Then he kept a hand on my belly as sleep came over me. I had no idea I was so tired.

I woke up to my body being moved. “Sorry.” I looked into Giovanni’s eyes as he put my seatbelt on. Then he whispered, “I wanna spent the rest of my life with you.”

Rubbed Raw - Omitted Scene 4 – Music Blog

Extended White flowers chapter.

White flowers surrounded me while I sat on stage. More were thrown at me every few seconds. I was confused and frightened. It looked to be the same place we played that night, but the rest of the band wasn’t there.

Then voices started taunting me. “It’s your fault he’s on the streets again.” I glanced around trying to find the source of the voice, but angry girls surrounded me. “He raped me too.” “You said you’d help me.” I didn’t know what to do, so I screamed.

Then suddenly I was in Giovanni’s bed. I sat up and searched the room. It had only been a dream. I didn’t remember falling asleep. Then again, I didn’t remember taking my sleeping pill either.

Giovanni opened the door and rushed to me. “It’s okay.” He wrapped me in his arms. “I’m right here.”

I tried to pull away, feeling silly about being afraid of a bunch of angry girls. Then I recalled what they were shouting at me. “It wasn’t that kinda dream,” I whispered. “Those girls… he hurt more of them I bet.”

Warm breath tickled my ear. “I know. I’m sorry tonight brought it back.” His voice was more unsteady that I expected.

“Something wrong?”

He pulled back and lifted my face to look into my eyes. “Chris and Chad’re here. We got something to talk to you about.” He hesitated. “It’s about what the manager told us.”

“The blog?” That was the first thing that came to mind.

He nodded, “You up for it? Or will it be too much?” His arms dropped then his hands covered mine. “You really need to hear what Chad found.”

“I’ll be fine.” I took a deep breath and braced myself for the worst. “When did I fall asleep?”

With a smile, Giovanni caressed my cheek. You passed out just after I put the movie on. I didn’t wanna wake you to give you your pills.”

            When we stood up, I realized I had one of his T-shirts on. It came down just enough to cover my panties. “I should put shorts on.” I looked at my bare thighs, not wanting to invite trouble.

            Giovanni grabbed something off his dresser. “Just wear these.”

            I took the boxers and put them on with a smile. The day I wore Chad’s and danced for him, Giovanni and Rosario flashed before my eyes. “This brings back memories.”

            He blushed. “Yeah, you looked hot that day.” He cleared his throat. “Not the time for reminiscing though. We have to deal with this.”

He led me into the living room. Chad and Chris sat on the couch next to each other. Giovanni sat in the empty space and pulled me onto his lap. No one said anything for a while. It seemed like they didn’t know where to start.

Chad next to us, spoke up first, “Did he tell you we need to talk about something you don’t wanna hear?”

I just nodded, looked down and held Giovanni’s hand tighter. He put his arm around my waist. “Chris and Chad stayed back last night to talk to some of the people at the bar.” I had wondered what took them so long.

Then Chris chimed in with, “Most people knew it was you who was attacked. I’m sorry.”

Chad squeezed both my legs. “I looked up the blog after we unloaded. It got thousands of hits in the last two days.” He bit his lip. “There were some details about what happened on it that only the police would know. His picture was posted too.” He stopped and looked at his hands.

“There’s more isn’t there?” I grabbed Giovanni’s hand to stop it from shaking. Chad’s nod made me lay my head down on Giovanni’s shoulder, unsure if I wanted to hear more. “Just tell me.”

He continued, “There’s a picture of you in the blue panty set next to his. The posting says the author talked to a neighbor who heard your screams. He said you were a slut. It has to be that weasel who was spreading it around the club last week.”

Giovanni held me close. “Our site’s got tons of messages for you.”

“And there’s emails too,” Chad added. “Some wanna help; some wanna make sure you’re alright.” He brushed a tear from my cheek. “Everyone’s on your side, but most people know about it.”

I hadn’t allowed it to sink in until the room was silent. With my eyes closed, I imagined being asked about the incident daily. Could I handle that? What if someone wanted details? Then memories assaulted me. Visions of the evil bastard asking me out. Seeing him standing in the crowd, his eyes glued to me. Then he was in my doorway.

I shivered, fighting the images. They knew he stripped me naked. They all knew he was going to rape me. My breathing came quicker. I clenched my fists, not wanting to give in. However, I was overwhelmed. When I looked up, the room started to spin.

“Crystal, Crystal, talk to me.” Giovanni called to me, as my limbs got weak. Then all of a sudden, I heard his voice again. It was softer though. “Chad please don’t kiss her. I’m upset too.” It took me a minute to realize my eyes were closed.

I lifted my lids and found myself in bed again. Was it all a bad dream? Maybe there wasn’t really a blog blabbing all my business. Then I felt liquid drip down my neck. I turned and Chad held me, crying. Pressure on my other side made me look that way. Giovanni held me as well. It must have been something pretty bad for him to allow Chad to… wait we were all in Giovanni’s bed?

“You OK, Crystal?” It was Chris, but I didn’t see him. Then a hand touched my calf and I jumped. He was kneeling at the foot of the bed.

Both Chad and Giovanni lifted their heads. “It’s okay,” they whispered together.

Confused, was not even close to what I was feeling. “What happened?”

“You fainted.” Giovanni caressed my cheek. “I’m right here. We’re all here for you.”

Chad let me go and sat up. His face stained with tears. He took my hand in his and sniffled. “I’m so sorry, my baby girl. This is all, my fault.” His lip quivered, while he avoided my eyes. “If I hadn’t taken those pictures, he would have never seen your beautiful body. If I walked you upstairs, he wouldn’t have broken in. He wouldn’t have violated you. You wouldn’t be so terrified all the time.”

“I’m fine, Chad. Please.” I had finally let the what ifs go. He was testing my anxiety.

He put his head down on my chest. Through sobs, he continued. “It hurts so much when I see fear in your eyes. I felt like he ripped my heart out. I saw him...” He grabbed me tightly. “I’m so sorry, my baby. I wish I could erase that night from your mind. I love you so much, Crystal.”

I felt his pain in my heart. To try to help, I squeezed his hand. “It’s not your fault. He would’ve have found a way. You saved me from him.”

He slowly lifted his head and kissed my cheek. “You always know what’ll make me feel better.” He patted my hand then kissed it. “Me and Chris’re gonna go. You guys need to be alone. Love you, Crystal.” He forced himself to pull away.

When they were gone, Giovanni turned me to him. I saw tears in his eyes. He was fighting to hold them back. “Crystal, I wish I could take it away too. We’re gonna get through this together. I’ll do whatever you need to help you deal with what’s ahead. And I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you again.”